Love and Other Lessons
by Finduilas88
Summary: Solaufein misjudges the PC's heart, which prompts a discussion with Imoen about love and sex in the surface world. One-shot.


_This is a story I wrote some time ago based on the Solaufein mod by Westley Weimer; I came upon it recently and thought it would make a good one-shot. For those of you who aren't familiar with the mod, in it Solaufein (the friendly drow the party meets in the Underdark) is a joinable NPC. He has all sorts of philosophical discussions with the PC, and will initiate a romance with the PC even if he or she is in a committed relationship to someone else. This is my take on what would happen next. _

_Some of the dialogue at the beginning of the story is taken directly from the mod, so it might sound a little different than the rest._

* * *

"Do you truly believe that is the case, Cassandra, that there is potential for good in all creatures, no matter their race or station? I am surprised that you would say so, given the evils you have seen and experienced in your travels," Solaufein asked, taking her hand in a firm grip and gazing at her intently.

Cassandra, though not offended, was a bit taken aback; the renegade drow had only joined their party a short time before and this was the first time he had touched her. He had been seeking out her company quite often recently for wide-ranging philosophical discussions covering everything from the nature of good and evil to whether mage constructs had free will. She enjoyed their conversations, but she was beginning to be curious why she was the only one in the party with whom he regularly initiated such discussions.

Aloud, she said, "I think that you and others who have renounced drow society are proof enough of that. Though not common, it is possible, which suggests to me that anyone can reject the evil that they have learned or believe under the right circumstances."

Solaufein nodded thoughtfully, "I will consider what you have said, Cassandra. Thank you, my friend; our conversations are a great comfort to me." He dropped her hand and walked away.

Cassandra joined Anomen who was standing nearby. She could tell he was upset and impatient to tell her something, but he did not speak immediately. Once they had walked a distance away from the rest of the party, Anomen could contain himself no longer and burst out, "Such impertinence! To be so cavalier, to touch you without leave with such intent in his eyes...my lady, I am incensed beyond words! This Solaufein must be told in no uncertain terms what his place in this group is and that he is not to exceed his bounds!"

"Anomen, all he did was hold my hand to make a point. I think you are overreacting," Cassandra replied, surprised by the strength of his response.

Anomen met her eyes gravely, "It may seem that way, Cassandra. I should not expect you to recognize these warning signs in the eyes of hungry men, but it is clear to me that within Solaufein's heart grows a dark desire. It would be better to tell him the truth of matters between you now."

"Oh, come, Anomen, I'm sure Solaufein harbors no ill intent. Besides, even if he does care for me as more than a friend, how could he expect me to return those feelings?" Cassandra put her arms around Anomen, "He must know you are the one who shares my bed every night. I have made no secret of my love for you."

Anomen gently touched her cheek and smiled, "Nor mine for you. Call it undue caution on my part if you like, but I would prefer that there is no chance for misunderstanding on _his_ part."

"If it helps allay your worries, I will speak to him as soon as I can, Anomen."

"My mind is at ease already."

"Oh, and one more thing Anomen…" Before he could speak, Cassandra pulled Anomen close for a long and passionate kiss.

When the kiss ended a few moments later, Anomen asked, rather breathlessly, "My lady, I am certainly not complaining, but what was that for?"

"For trusting me, and coming to me with your concerns rather than challenging Solaufein yourself, like you did when you were jealous of Kelsey. I just want to make sure you know I appreciate your love and trust."

Anomen grinned, "I daresay I know you better now than I did when I tried to force Kelsey to leave. Though if I had known what your reaction would be I think my actions would have been very different then!"

-ooo-

Later that evening after they had eaten, Solaufein sat alone a little apart from the others, as was his usual practice. Cassandra approached him, "Solaufein, may I speak with you?" she asked quietly.

Solaufein looked up at her, and a play of emotion flashed across his face and was gone, too fast for Cassandra to identify. _Oh gods_, she thought, _is Anomen right? Is he falling in love with me? _She certainly hoped he was not, but in truth she did not know if the alternative—embarrassing them both by suggesting that he might be when he wasn't—would make this interview any more pleasant.

"Of course, Cassandra. It is always a pleasure to speak with you. Please sit." He gestured toward the other end of the log on which he was seated. She was not comfortable sitting so close to him, and lacking any other options, she simply folded her legs and sat cross-legged on the ground a few feet away from him. He looked slightly startled at this choice, but otherwise did not comment.

"So, Cassandra, what deep philosophical issue do you wish to discuss this evening? The nature of good and evil? Free will and destiny?

She smiled, remembering their earlier conversations, "No, nothing philosophical, more…personal." At her words, Solaufein somehow managed to look more intense and intent without actually revealing his emotions. _Just spit it out, idiot!_ she thought, _Stalling is not going to make this easier!_

She forced herself to continue, "Solaufein, I fear that you may have misinterpreted our friendship. I hope you know that I value you highly as a member of our team, and please forgive me if I have misunderstood your actions, but some of the things you've done recently suggest that you want our relationship to become…much closer than it is now."

Cassandra half expected Solaufein to laugh, or angrily deny that he ever wanted more than friendship from her, but instead he sat silent and stone-faced, giving her no hint of his thoughts. Gathering her courage, she added, "If that is the case I need you to understand that it cannot be."

After what seemed an eternity, Solaufein let out a pained breath and spoke. "I...I understand, Cassandra. I apologize for overstepping my boundaries, and I hope that I haven't made you uncomfortable. It won't happen again."

Cassandra knew she should leave him alone, but felt compelled to ask the question that puzzled her so. "Surely you know that I am in love with someone else, so why did you…?"

"Anomen? I know that he is your bed partner, but I have no experience of how people behave when they are 'in love' other than what I have read in surfacer books." He paused, "You must understand that drow women, especially a powerful female such as yourself, can have as many lovers as she wishes. For a female to attach herself to one bed partner to the exclusion of all others would be an aberration and considered a sign of weakness." He paused and looked thoughtful, "And in many ways, the priest acts like a drow male would if he were trying to curry favor with a powerful female he was bedding; dancing attendance on her to prove his loyalty."

_Well, that's one part of this conversation that won't be repeated to Anomen!_ Cassandra thought. "Solaufein, Anomen doesn't have to win my favor, he already has it. He is considerate and attentive because he loves me, not because he has to prove anything to me. That's what people in love _do_." She paused and met Solaufein's eyes, "Tell me, do I act like a typical drow female?"

Solaufein looked chagrined and sighed, "No, Cassandra, you do not. For one thing, you are considerate and respectful of all the members of your party, no matter their race or station." He smiled grimly, "Very 'un-drow like' behavior. But I must confess it has puzzled me, why you should treat this male with such special consideration and affection. Now I see it must be because you love him."

Cassandra smiled, "Maybe among the drow restricting yourself to one lover is a sign of weakness, but here in the surface world, most people find great strength in having one person they can love and trust above all others. Anomen strengthens me and enriches my life with his love every day, and I think he feels the same about me."

"How could he not? Again, Cassandra, I apologize for my unwanted attentions. If I had known there was such a…bond between the two of you, I would never have tried to claim your affections or come between you and your love."

Cassandra smiled at him impishly, "Oh, it would take more than a handsome drow to do that." She started to leave, but turned at the last moment to say, "Someday, I hope you find someone who will love you as much as I love Anomen."

Solaufein watched her disappearing into the night and said softly, "As do I, my friend, as do I."

-ooo-

Anomen, anxiously awaiting Cassandra's return from her discussion with Solaufein, was only prevented from pacing by the uncompromising fact that the tent they shared was far too small to permit it. So instead, he busied himself with a detailed inspection and cleaning of his armor and weapons. He was soon so absorbed in the task that he was startled by her return and stood without thinking, causing his weapons to clatter noisily to the ground.

"Cassandra! What happened? Was I correct?"

She sat down unceremoniously on the bedroll next to him and kissed him before speaking. Anomen took the opportunity to maneuver himself behind her so he could pull her back against his chest and wrap his arms around her possessively.

Cassandra sighed and snuggled close to him, "Well, my love, I guess I'll have to trust your judgment about the intentions of other men from now on."

"Ha! So he admitted it, the dog!"

"In so many words. He certainly didn't try to deny it, and I'm sure he would have if there was no truth to it at all," Cassandra replied.

"Did he think he could supplant me in your affections so easily, or that I would stand by and allow myself to be replaced? The fool!" Anomen scoffed.

Cassandra smiled wryly, "He didn't seem to be hoping to replace you as much as add himself as one of my lovers."

This statement was greeted with a brief, stunned silence followed by a few moments of outraged sputtering by Anomen before he could find the words to express his feelings. "The…the _swine_! How dare he! _How dare he!_ It is one thing to underestimate your affection for me, or my willingness to fight for you, but quite another to suggest you are the kind of woman who would commit herself to one man and then lie with another! How dare he impugn your honor by insinuating such a thing? Well, this vile drow and I are going to have a little 'discussion' of our own, and he _will_ apologize for this slander or he will feel the full weight of my wrath!"

Anomen was only thwarted in his plan to jump up and confront Solaufein on the spot by the presence of Cassandra in his lap. As it was, she had to struggle to get his attention.

"Anomen, Anomen, please, listen to me!" Once she had gotten his notice and his outraged outburst subsided into angry muttering, she continued. "Anomen, love, I don't think he meant to insult me. For one thing, I don't think he really understood that we are committed to one another, or what that means here. And among the drow, females are not scorned for having many lovers; on the contrary, I think it is seen as an indication of their power and control over others if they do."

"Ugghh. What a vile and evil race. But if Solaufein means to live among us, he must learn _our_ ways, not expect us to adopt the despicable customs of the drow!" Anomen answered hotly.

"I think he knows that. But even if he knows our customs are different or feels in his heart that the ways of the drow are evil, it will take time for him to understand our ways and change his thinking. I recall that you came very close to seeking revenge on Saerk when your father told you that your family honor was at stake, even though you knew from your teachings in the Order that it would be wrong to do so."

"Cassandra, you are comparing me to a drow?"

"No, love, merely suggesting that the habits and thinking learned as a child cannot be dismissed or forgotten overnight. Give him time. But in the meantime, I'm sure that Solaufein understands now that I am not interested in any man but you. He won't bother me again." She smiled, "And if he does, I promise to let you handle it _your_ way."

"I'll hold you to that, Cassandra," Anomen growled and held her tightly.

Cassandra smiled and touched his cheek, "You know Anomen, I think there may be something to these drow customs after all…

"What?" Anomen exclaimed, startled by the suggestion.

"Well, it certainly would have made things a lot simpler if I could have just ordered you into my bed rather than wait until one of us got the nerve to approach the other," Cassandra said playfully.

"True, but what if some other female had claimed me first?" Anomen asked, his eyes alight.

"Hmm, I didn't think of that. On second thought, it was worth the wait."

Anomen laughed and pulled her down on the bedroll next to him, "Indeed it was, my love."

-ooo-

When Imoen awoke in the night to answer the call of nature, Solaufein, who as an elf needed little sleep, was standing the late night watch as usual. On the way back to her tent, she stopped to greet him, and something in his manner caught her attention.

"Hey, Sola, how ya doing?"

"I am fine, Imoen. The night is quiet."

"Huh, easy for you to say, your tent is on the other side of the camp from Cassandra and Anomen."

Solaufein was almost always somber, but his reaction to her statement was to look even more morose.

"A little joke, heh. Sola, no offense, but you're looking even gloomier than usual tonight. Something wrong?"

Solaufein sighed. "Nothing you can assist me with, young one."

"If you're sure…" Imoen turned to leave, but was stopped by his voice.

"Wait, Imoen, perhaps there _is_ something you can help me with."

"Great! Glad to help! You can tell all your troubles to little ol' Immy," She plopped down beside him on the leaves.

Imoen waited attentively as Solaufein gathered his thoughts. After a couple of false starts, he asked, "Imoen, is it obvious to you that Cassandra and Anomen are in love with each other?"

"You mean Snookums and Snuggly-bear? In love? Ya think?" Imoen laughed.

At Solaufein baffled look, Imoen tried to explain, "That was a joke, 'cause although they don't actually call each other that, they're always so lovey-dovey and 'you are the center of my universe' with each other that they might as well…and…

"Wait a minute, wait a minute. Are you saying that you didn't _know_ that Cassandra and Anomen are in love?" Imoen asked Solaufein in astonishment.

"I know that they share a tent, it is obvious they are bed partners. But that is not the same thing as being 'in love', is it? How does one tell when people are 'in love'"?

"Well, most people think it's best when lovers—bed partners—are 'in love' too. As for how can you tell; well, it's a little different from person to person, but Cassandra and Anomen are a pretty typical case. They always want to be around each other, they worry about each other and always do things for each other." Imoen snorted, "Not to mention the hand-holding, the gazing into each other's eyes, and all that mushy stuff."

"So it would be obvious to other men that she feels this way about Anomen? And they would not approach her because there is a rule that a person may have only one lover?"

"Actually, it's more of a guideline than a rule. Unless you're married of course, then it's a rule. Most men would stay away because it's obvious she's taken. Well, that, and the fact that Anomen is a huge guy with a big mace and a short temper. But if a man was stupid enough to make a play for her anyway, she'd send him packing fast enough.

"Umm, Solaufein, this is just a general interest question, right? I hope you're not saying that you…you…" Imoen paused, groping for a circumspect way to allay her growing suspicions.

Solaufein sighed and looked away, "I was, in your words, 'sent packing' by your sister."

"Oh, Solaufein, please don't tell me you asked her to sleep with you!" Imoen said in dismay. "But…but why? Even if you didn't know she was in love with Anomen, you knew they were sleeping together!"

"No, it never got that far. Your sister must have sensed my attraction for her, and she made it clear that she did not share those feelings.

"Among the drow, it is the norm for females to have more than one bed partner. I see now that I was foolish to assume that customs were similar here, but I had hoped that she might at least consider…"

Imoen groaned and clutched her forehead, "You actually suggested that she sleep with you _and_ Anomen? Oh, Sola, I know you're like 100 years old, but you're just a babe in the woods up here. What did she say?"

Solaufein was puzzled by Imoen's reaction, "She was surprised that I did not understand that her relationship with Anomen would preclude one with me, but she did not seem angry. Why?"

"Huh. You're lucky Anomen didn't hear you say it, or he would be out for blood. Unless a woman makes her living at it, it's just not a good thing to suggest that a woman has a lot of lovers, especially not for a 'virtue and honor' guy like Anomen. It's not what 'good girls' are supposed to do, and I think Anomen would be furious if anyone even hinted that Cassandra would sleep around. Not that _he_ thinks she would, 'cause she wouldn't and he knows that, but it's an insult for anyone else to think she would." Imoen concluded breathlessly.

"I…I see," Solaufein said, in a tone that implied that he didn't, quite. "Are men held to the same standard of behavior?"

"Well yes, and no. They're kinda expected to have just one lover, especially if they're married, but it's not as much of an insult to suggest that a man is getting some on the side, if you know what I mean. Actually, some think it's a sign of 'manliness' for a guy to have a lot of lovers." The edge in Imoen's voice suggested to Solaufein that she did not agree.

"It sounds…confusing, and inequitable. Why do surface females allow such a system to endure?"

"Yikes, Sola, I have to get some sleep tonight! _That_ discussion could go on for hours. No, it's not fair, and sometimes following the rules means you get stuck in a really awful situation. From what I've heard about Anomen's parents, their relationship was just about as bad as it gets. I think one of the reasons Anomen is so devoted to Cassandra is because that he saw how much his mother was hurt by his father and it's important for him to do better.

"But even though our whole system of falling in love and getting married has a lot of flaws, at least there's a chance to find love and happiness." She glanced at Solaufein sympathetically, "From what you said happened to Phaere when you guys started to care for each other, there's pretty much _no_ chance to find true love in the Underdark."

Solaufein's jaw tightened and he stared out into the darkness, "No, there is not."

"Now, if you tell Cassandra I said this, I'll deny it," Imoen smiled, "but if you want to see what love should look like, you could do a lot worse than watch Anomen and Cassandra together. Anomen can be a pain with all that 'honor and righteousness' stuff, and sometimes they're so sweet and cute it makes me want to scream, but they are really good together, you know? They make each other stronger, and happier. The only thing that really worries me—other than what'll happen if Cassandra and I can't get our souls back—is what would happen if one of them…you know."

"Yes, I can see that it would be devastating to lose such a relationship," Solaufein fell silent, staring moodily into the night.

"Uh, Sola, 'telling Immy all about it' is supposed to make you feel _better_, not worse. Why don't you just let me know when you're starting to feel perkier, because honestly," Imoen stifled a yawn, "I'd really like to go back to bed."

"My pardon, Imoen, I did not mean you to deprive you of sleep. Please do not stay up any longer on my account. This discussion has greatly assisted me in understanding the situation in a way I did not before."

"Huh. I can hear a 'but' coming a league away. C'mon Sola, give. Why are you more upset now than you were before we started our little talk? I must be losing my touch!" she added, a little plaintively.

Solaufein sighed, "It is nothing you have done or not done, Imoen. I am…troubled by my own actions. I have been telling myself that I did not know, that I _could_ not know, that in your words, Cassandra was 'taken' and was not interested in anything more than friendship from me." He smiled grimly, "But in truth, the actions of people who care for one another are not completely foreign to the drow. On occasion drow lovers come to care for one another as I did for Phaere, and drow parents sometimes feel love for their children, though it is considered a great weakness and all too easy for others to exploit to their detriment.

"I suspect that I did not see how much they cared for each other because I chose _not_ to see. For one who prides himself on careful consideration of his actions, it is a disturbing realization."

"Hey, we did learn something today! The drow are 'human' too!" Imoen smiled and patted his arm reassuringly. "Don't beat yourself up too much. It's not like you're the first person who's fooled himself with a little too much wishful thinking."

"Imoen, do you think that under the circumstances it might be best if I left the group? Your sister has many challenges still before her; I do not wish to make her journey any more difficult."

"Nah, Cassandra will be fine with you staying, as long as _you_ can handle it—and you mind your manners and don't start mooning over her again. Anomen, well, he's another story. He's likely to be pretty suspicious of you until he's sure you won't try to put the moves on Cassandra again, so I'd stay clear of him for a while. After that, who knows, maybe you two will become drinking buddies or something."

This surprised the first genuine laugh that Imoen had heard from Solaufein all night, "I think that would take the intervention of both Helm and Eilistraee; but as you say, who knows."

He briefly clasped Imoen's hand, "Thank you very much, my friend. I believe I do indeed, as you say, 'feel better'.

"Great!" Imoen yawned and turned toward her tent, "I gotta start charging for this stuff."


End file.
